smoke?

Why do we smoke?

Is there a logical explanation behind it?

It’s called “smoke” you know… like “fire” smoke… nobody inhales “fire smoke” do they? So why do we smoke? Is it because the nicotine is supposed to relax you? It’s supposed to make you feel good? Well, it doesn’t! It makes you feel like shit. Actually, there’s no feeling at all. If you’re lucky, you might get a headache after you smoke, but that’s only if you’re really lucky. If you’re not, you’re just left with smelly clothes and hands and breath…

So why do we smoke? Right after we’re done smoking we open all the windows to get some fresh air in! But Hello! all that smoke you’re sick of now, was in your lungs seconds ago! And we’re always complaining about how shitty smoking is… “I’m quitting man…” or “this one is the last smoke man”… “just tonight guys, ok?” Who are we kidding? We’re NOT gonna quit! Yeah! Mark Twain once said “There’s nothing quite as easy as quitting smoking… I have done it a thousand times!!”

So let’s light a last cigarette in honour of all those who try! quitting! And this is the last one, ok? And in honor of Hossein, my dear friend, who once bought me banana when I asked him to get me a Cuban cigar on his way back home. He gave me the banana and said “There, this won’t give you lung cancer, and it is actually rich in potassium!” Hossein my friend, nice try!

آن تايتلد

به سبک رو ضه خوانده شود

ديشب گفتم برم منزل سخنرانی "جرج ابن بوش" رو از تلويزيون ببينم
آخه شنيده بوده که خندق "ص نون نون" قراره نشونش بدن
قرار بوده که راجع به "هجرت کردگان" به "سرزمينش" صحبت کنه
خلاصه ماه که در اومد راه افتادم به سمت خونمون
از بازار شام که رد شدم فهميدم يه خبرايی شده
گفتم بابا جان بايد خودمو زود برسونم به خونه
رسيدم به خونه
درو باز کردم
"فرمان از راه دور" رو برداشتم
کليد "وصل" رو زدم
ديدم تلويزيون روشن شد
ولی
تصوير ندار ه ه ه ه ه ه ه ه ه ه ......
همش يه مشت برفک نشون ميده
گفتم عيبی نداره بابا جان
ميزنم خندق های ديگه
به جای جرج ابن بوش "صحاب" يا "عشق رايموند" يا "سرزمين صاين" ميبينم
زدم خندق های ديگر
ديدم همه برفکه  ه ه ه ه ه ه ه ه ه ه...
فهميدم که وقتی از خونم بيرون بودم
يه نا مراد قاتلی
يه نا مراد قاتلی از قبيله "ارتباط شرق" اومده
ريسمان وصل به خندقا رو قطع کرده و رفته

moving

When you're moving, your whole world becomes boxes. That's all you think about is boxes. Boxes, where are there boxes? You just wander down the street going in and out of stores. “Are there boxes here? Have you seen any boxes?” I mean it's all you think about. You can't even talk to people because you can't concentrate. “Shut up I'm looking for boxes”. Just after a while you become like really into it you can smell them. You walk into a store. “There's boxes here. Don't tell me you don't have boxes. Dammit, I can SMELL them”. I'm like I'm obsessed. I love the smell of cardboard in the morning. You could be at a funeral. Everyone's mourning crying around, and you’re looking at the casket. “That's a nice box. Does anyone know where that guy got that box? When he's done with it do you think I could get that? it's got some nice handles on it”. And that's what death is really. It's the last big move of your life. The hearse is like the van. The pale bearers are your close friends the only ones you could ask to help you with a big move like that. And the casket is that great perfect box you've been waiting for your whole life The only problem is, once you find it you're in it.

Jerry Seinfeld- Seinfeld, Episode 35-“The Boyfriend 2”

دفترچه خاطرات؟

و بالاخره فرشيد به خانه جديد خود ميرود
اين آخر هفته همش خر حمالی بود
اسباب کشی در حد روانی
ولی حالا که تموم شده همه چيز
خيلی ميچسبه
که بری توی خونه جديد
راستی اين اولين باريه که من توی يه خونه مستقل مستقل زندگی ميکنم
بايد يه پارتی چيزی بگيرم...
گرفتم خبرتون ميکنم
همه دعوتن!